Questions?

Recently, I've been talking to a young friend of mine who's struggling with his faith. Basically, he's transitioning from the belief of his childhood to a more adult faith. Like many people his age, the current model isn't really doing it for him. He's reading things in the Bible that don't jibe with what he's learned in school. He doesn't care for the hypocrisy he sees some Christians displaying and the hard line some groups take toward other religions leaves him cold. Worship doesn't engage him. He's told me he even questions his commitment to his faith if some of what I've just mentioned has to be a part of it. Which is pretty much standard for someone in their late teens and early twenties. It's all so black and white at that age. They haven't been an adult long enough to see the shades of gray, nor have they started down that slippery slope of compromise. Things should be a certain way and if they're not, why aren't we doing something about it? People ask me why I continue to work with youth and young adults. This is part of it. This energy and drive energizes me and keeps me young.

Every so often though, this energy and drive butts up against conventional wisdom. Usually in the person of an older adult, like a parent or some other authority figure. Now, if it's handled right, the wisdom and experience of the older person leavens the raw energy of the younger and something really special results. If not, then a huge rift can occur. One that takes years to repair. The second happens all to often in life and the church is no different (even though it should be). A good example is the way my friend and his father react to each other when asks a question about faith. His dad, a good, hard-working fellow, hears his son asks a question, and because the young fellow hasn't learned how to ask a challenging question without it sounding like an attack, all he hears is an assault on everything he believes. Of course, he fires back and an argument ensues, which is totally counterproductive. I'll the dad credit, though. He never gives up on his son and is always there for the next question.

As the title lets on, this long ramble is really about questions. Easy ones and hard ones. Ones that challenge everything we believe. Ones that make us uncomfortable. There are a lot of ways to deal with them. Some folks just slam the door and say that everything that needs to be said has been said and we should accept it. I have a couple of problems with this. First, questions are central to the Gospel. Jesus and the disciples asked questions of each other constantly. Because they knew that was how you learn. Which brings me to the second problem: if no one can ask questions, if everything has truly been said, aren't we practicing a dead faith? I don't think so.

So, how do we deal with questions? I can only talk about how I do it. First of all, encourage questions. Don't just be open to them, ask for them. Second, if you're asked a question you can't answer, don't BS, just admit you don't know. No one says you have to know it all. You can't, so don't even try. But, never ever, try to BS the questioner. They'll know it and you'll look like an ass. Just say you don't know and look for the answer together. Third, don't accept shrugs, nods or one syllable answers. Make 'em work at it. Now, understand, this works for me but there's no guarantee it'll work for you. Finally, the next time you here a question that gets your hackles up, stop and think. It could open up something new and special for you too.