Who's it all about?

If you haven't picked up on it yet, I'm a big Rob Bell fan. I like the way he approaches things and I rarely read or listen to him without being challenged to look at something in a new way. The latest was the result of one of the NOOMA videos, entitled "Luggage". This particular video is about forgiveness and what it can mean to us. One the eye-openers for me was the idea that revenge is about distrusting God. That in seeking revenge, we're not willing to trust God to handle the situation. In fact, it's a control issue. We want to be the one who determines what retribution happens to the person who wronged us. That in pursuing revenge, we're telling God we think we can do His job better than he can. We showed this video in both the college student's Sunday school class and Sunday night at MYF. On the second viewing, and again in the discussion, one of the things that jumped out at me was the words used in talking about revenge. I'll get you, you'll find out not to mess with me; or in talking about why we pursued it and how it made us feel: It makes me feel good, I got even and other statements. Notice the common denominator? Revenge is all about ME. And, one of the main tenets of Christianity is that it's not about me. As the Apostle Paul said "And he died for all, so that those who live might live no longer for themselves, but for him who died and was raised for them."(2 Corinthians 5:15)

One of the other interesting things came from a question Sean (the Director of Youth and Young Adult ministries, also my friend and reluctant mentor) asked both groups: How do you feel when you get revenge? The adults, Sean and myself, said that it left us unsatisfied and unfulfilled. The younger folks, however, were just the opposite. They wholeheartedly supported the idea of revenge, saying that it made them feel good afterward. This was not a view that made me particularly happy. Especially when my own daughter said it. But, later, as she considered the subject, she said that the early euphoria didn't last and was usually replaced by feelings of guilt or even shame. You know, I don't want her to feel bad, but as a parent, it is nice to know your offspring feels remorse after a less-than-good deed. I'm not sure about why this difference exists though. Maybe it's the fact that teens and early twenty-somethings still believe that it's all about them. At first, I thought we viewed it differently because we're older, more mature, etc. Then, it dawned on me what the real difference between us is. Sean and I are both parents. Nothing shows that life is not about you quicker than having a child. But, if that what it takes for these kids to change their idea about revenge, I'll live with the current conception a while longer. But there is one thing that is about us.


If you've ever looked at my facebook page, you know that I post a different quote each day. Sometimes, it's inspirational, sometimes funny. Yesterday's was "“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you" from Lewis B. Smedes. Regardless of what my young charges think, grudges, revenge and other such things are damaging. Another Smedes quote says it much better than I can: "Vengeance is having a videotape planted in your soul that cannot be turned off. It plays the painful scene over and over again inside your mind... And each time it plays you feel the clap of pain again... Forgiving turns off the videotape of pained memory. Forgiving sets you free.” The way these things consume us is not good. If we're obsessing about a wrong, where does that leave us with God? Certainly not trying to be closer to Him. Very little is further from the life of Christ than withholding forgiveness. When asked how often to forgive, Jesus said "Seventy times seven" (or "Seventy-seven" depending on which translation you read). He didn't mean a literal 77 times or even 490 times. No, He's telling us to always forgive those who do us wrong. Why? I'll close with one of His parables to explain that.

"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. "Be patient with me," he begged, "and I will pay back everything." The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. "Pay back what you owe me!" he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, "Be patient with me, and I will pay you back." But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. "You wicked servant," he said, "I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?" In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."