Give Me Your Eyes...

for just one second



Give me your eyes so I can see


Everything that I keep missing


Give me your love for humanity


Give me your arms for the broken hearted


The ones that are far beyond my reach


Give me you heart for the ones forgotten


Give me your eyes so I can see
 
This is the chorus to a song I picked up in youth.  Sean, our leader, is great at finding songs none of us have heard, but fit nicely into the night's lesson.  And, invariably, everyone loves them.  I have to go back and listen to this one every so often and remind myself about how I should be treating others.  Among my many flaws are a rather quick temper and an extreme lack of patience.  Evidently, I'm also a bit conceited, because I tend to get mad when people get in my way and I can't do exactly what I want, exactly when I want.  That covers the temper and patience, the conceit comes in when I start to think they're doing whatever it is they're doing, they're doing it just to piss me off.  Of course, after I think about it, I realize just how stupid that sounds.  People who don't even know me are going to do stuff just to make me mad?  Yeah, and the Republicans in Congress will come up with a new health care bill if they succeed in killing the current one.
 
Step out on a busy street



See a girl and our eyes meet


Does her best to smile at me


To hide what’s underneath


There's a man just to her right


Black suit and a bright red tie


Too ashamed to tell his wife


He's out of work, He's buying time
 
The mark of anything excellent is that every time you encounter it, you come away with something new.  Now, I've listened to this song a thousand times (okay, maybe not a thousand, but a lot), and tonight, I the verse above hit me right between the eyes.  All those people I've been so pissed at for whatever reason are just like me.  On a good day, they're probably people I'd enjoy talking to and spending time with.  But, just like me, they have their issues and baggage and that changes everything.  As I'm writing this, I've had another epiphany.  If they're just like me, how are they seeing me when my crap makes me act different than my normal, lovable self?  And, is the way I'm dealing with said crap at that moment worsening the problem like a great big feedback loop?  What if, instead of wallowing in the anger and self pity generated by the situation, I stepped back and took another look at what I was doing?  You'll notice I'm not speaking in the past tense, like I've already done this.  Because I haven't.  Not consciously, anyway.  I'm sure I've done it in some way, if only because I haven't gotten in any fistfights lately.  Oh, I've wanted to, on more than one occassion, but I've always managed to short circuit the anger some way.  But, wouldn't things be different if I did it consciously?
 
The problem with things like anger and self-pity is not that we commit these acts.  They're part of our humanity and, therefore, unavoible.  It's what comes with them: the selfishness and inward focus.  When we're deep in these behaviors, it's all about us and everything else we're supposed to be focused on, like God and our fellow creatures, comes in a distant second.  I'm not sure what to do about this, because I've never thought of myself as a self-centered or conceited person.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  But, in reality, isn't that what sin is really about?  Sin is anything we do that separates us from God.  And, being self-centered sure seems to fill the bill in this respect.  And, anger is just the tip of the iceberg; what about the people we ignore because acknowledging them makes us uncomfortable, or takes us away from our busy day or whatever reason we have for condemning these folks to outside edges of society?  Aren't these the very kind of people Jesus said he came to save?  Folks that are well don't need a doctor and all that, you know.  If we're going to be covered in the dust of our rabbi, that attitude has to change.  I don't know about you, but for me, that's a tall order.  One that requires me to patient and slow to anger.  And, that's kinda where this post started.